Ladies, does your boyfriend ever mock your reality TV shows while he’s the one watching actual snuff films in the basement? Mine pays a Ukrainian contact on Telegram in digital rubles to some foreign bank account, and then three weeks later, a foul-smelling package arrives from Belarus, and he sits there watching three men in a shipping container have their genitals ritually severed and force-fed to them. Then, he audibly groans like a child when I want to watch one episode of The Bachelor.

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